Monday, April 23, 2012

You've got to be kidding me

 Houdini strikes again.... and no, that's not dirt on the dresser. 

I can handle an hour of Sloane crying just about every nap time.  I can handle when she takes everything out of her dresser drawers and throws it on the floor.  I can handle it when she rips apart her bed and removes all twenty blankets and thirty stuffed animals.  Heck, I can even handle it when she gets mad and rips apart books- even my favorite ones (which I've since removed from her room) but poop.....poop is where I draw the line.

I was lucky enough to dodge this horror scene once last week.  I was getting a hair cut when John sent a picture of brown spots on the carpet.  Although the lighting was bad I knew what those "brown spots" were.  I thought to myself, "Thank God I wasn't home....I don't think I could have handled that." 

Well, Houdini struck again.  I just finished my abnormally quite lunch (which yes, should have been my first clue that she was up to something) when I heard, "Mommy come upstairs."  I responded with a firm, "You're ok, please go lay down." to which she responded with, "I had an accident."  Awesome.  Whatever is it....awesome. 

I ran upstairs and the first thing I saw was poop smeared on the door then her hands....covered.  It looked like she had been making poop cakes or something.  Carpet- poop, mirrors-poop, walls-poop.  I knew there was even more I hadn't seen because when I went to grab her she said, "come see.".  I plopped her in the bath, got her cleaned up and went to investigate.  Windows and dresser?  Poop and poop.  Are you kidding me?  How does this not just disgust her?!?

I got it cleaned up well enough to put her back to bed.  I was darn sure she wasn't going to get a treat by laying in my bed, watching cartoons and skipping nap time which is what she would have wanted for sure.  I gave her a hug and kiss and left the room.  A few minutes later..."Mommy come clean up the window."  Again I went upstairs.  More poop.  I must have missed it the first time.  It was like and Easter egg hunt (but only smeared poop) and checking to see that I found them all. 

A few minutes later after that.... found her in the bathroom by herself playing in the water and "putting on lotion". 

Ok, so I know that most parents have at least one or two stories that sound like this but the amazing thing about Sloane is--- her jammies were still on!  It's not like she took off her PJ's and thought I'll take off my diaper and make a mess.  She reached up the leg of her jammies and pulled the poop out.  She knew exactly what she was looking for and dare I say...had fun doing it. (dry heave)  Keep in mind- we still have her jammies on backwards with the zipper tab ripped off so she can't take them off herself.  I guess we can check "short" jammies off the list as appropriate bedtime attire.  And to address the bathroom issue.  Her gate was still locked when I found her out of the room.  She once again jumped the gate.  Looks like we might have to go back to two gates stacked one on top of another. Pretty soon I'm going to be posting that we have her sleep in a 4x4 padded room with only one blanket and no windows!

I know one thing for sure-  Sloane is a determined little girl.  I can only hope and pray that one day, her determination serves a better purpose then smearing poop and jumping baby gates. 


  1. Best. Story. Ever.

  2. To echo Beth's comment... OH. MY. DEAR. LORD.
    Hopefully this is one of those memories you can look back on some day far, far, far off in the future and laugh...hopefully!